He gaslights you.
We’ve spoken about gas-lighting,
which is the manipulative act of
someone attempting to change
your memory or perception of
events in their favor, making you
feel crazy or like you’ve
forgotten something. But when
is gas-lighting a deal breaker,
you ask? The answer is when it
happens! A man who resorts to
manipulative tactics to have his
way or ‘win’ an argument will
continue to play mind games and
be dishonest with you. When I
experienced gas-lighting in my
relationships, I felt crazy and my
self-esteem plummeted until I
understood the game that was
being played. Take advantage of
the situation and leave
immediately — it’s the best thing
you can do for yourself.
He doesn’t claim or
proclaim you.
Many women will spend time in
limbo-like relationships with
guys who won’t give them the
girlfriend title. Here’s the truth:
If you’ve been dating a man for
longer than six to nine months
and he’s hasn’t made you an
official part of his life, it’s time
to MOVE ON. Stop making
excuses for why things aren’t
progressing to the next level;
you’ll only waste time and your
time is worth more than that.
These days, I don’t settle for less
because I don’t want a man who
makes you a bargain-bin find. If
he knows your worth, he’ll claim
and proclaim you and there will
be few conversations about how
‘he isn’t ready.’
He suffers from addiction
.
There are plenty of honor badges
to be earned by standing by your
man when he’s fallen on hard
times. But CAUTION if you stick
with a man fighting demons,
namely addiction. Addiction can
range from less-severe, like
cigarettes, to major issues such
as drug, alcohol and sex.
Someone who suffers from an
addiction will do anything — and
I mean anything — to get their
fix, even at the expense of those
they love. So unless you’d like to
be second to whatever vices he
has, it may be time to ‘leave
smoke.’
He gets violent, even if he
doesn’t hit you.
You may think this is a no-
brainer but honestly it isn’t.
Most women I know who’ve
been in abusive relationships
have immense strength, only to
shut down in the presence of her
partner’s anger and violence. As
a strong woman myself, I froze
when a guy I’d been dating went
into a rage one night, throwing
things, damaging property and
calling me names. I knew it was
a deal breaker because even
though he didn’t put his hands
on me, he scared me. No healthy
relationship can be built off a
foundation of fear because you
never know when his actions
may escalate.
He cheats.
Many people will say this point
is debatable because lots
of couples who have fidelity
issues repair their relationship
and end up in a better than
where they were pre-cheating.
But it’s not the act of cheating
that’s the deal breaker here; it’s
the disrespect, broken trust and
significant risk to your health.
(Hello, STDS!) With all the risks
that hang in the balance for just
a tiny bit of pleasure, it’s
entirely inconsiderate and
selfish when a man cheats on
you. Do you want someone who
puts his wants before your
needs, like security and trust? I
don’t which is why I’ve said BYE
to cheating men.
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